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Title: Inadvertent
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Who I Am:
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I've always been wandering, more than within, but mainly.
The true things in life I believe that I need are; Love, laughter and lots of music! Oh yes, lots of music.
Isn't this choppy-ness wonderful? Segmented thoughts, is all.
So I am still at that point in my life where I have no absoulutely no idea what to do. Makes me wonder if there will ever be a point where I do. To me, it seems, that most people have at least a clue. Some sort of direction.. ehh..?
Goals?
The out-of-doors is a good friend of mine. I'm into riding bikes and catchin' a buzz (alcohol and sometimes mary), throwin' frisbee, cookin' out, wanderin', etc.
Winter is on my bad side, that c*nt has been for years. I cannot wait to move, but I shall continue to.
I've found that you really can't put your trust in many people at all. Sometimes yourself least of all. Yet again, a point I find myself at. I find that I don't even understand myself. Don't truly know what I want. Tell myself I do. But every essence seems so false. Hollow.
Phlegmatic? No, not really.
I would love to hang-glide, rock climb, skydive and possibly learn to fly. But those all need the green and the green back devil is ever an issue. So fuckin' sad you need that for so much.
I always feels as if something is missing.. but that's just it.. I'm missing.
I feel like an island. Uncharted.
My whole life I have felt nothing but lost. It's rare, those moments, when I truly feel as if I am myself. That feeling where everything takes on a glow.. that slight shimmer of contentment.
While I know I'm not alone in this sensation, I damn well still feel it. And that's fucked.
One thing that I find solace in though, is music, listening and playing. Another - books (a nice little fantasy world to get lost in). Oh, and of course, my drink.
I think I have been making decisions without consulting myself first.. Is it bad that I am becoming more content with my solitude?.
Hmm.. lesse.. I always try to keep an open-mind about everything.. in no way do I always succeed but I damn well try.
One thing is for sure; You'll almost always see me laughing or smiling. I usually keep a pretty positive attitude and outlook on life.I am fuckin' tired of pessimistic assholes. Like, I love my pa and sh*t, but he is always so fuckin' negative and it really brings me down 'cause I really care what he thinks, ya know? But it's always negative sh*t I am hearing. And I don't need any negativity peoples.
I would say, though, that my positive attitude is rarely reflected in any writing consuming myself. :) Yea, consuming.
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I'm Looking for:
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Someone real. Someone to share myself with. To share themselves with me. One of the true desires?
Captain Planet! (Power of Heart!) heh.
A ninja?
A woman who doesn't cheat (is there such a thing??).
Someone to trust that deserves the trust.
A woman to share the romance and passions of life with.
A life-long friend and companion.
Someone to wander with. To sit silently and be content.
A muse.
A woman who will speak her mind, regardless. Share her true thoughts.
Someone who's worth the pain and hardship.
A pass-the-time drinking buddy.
A work-out buddy
Someone who doesn't hide emotions.
Someone who doesn't share needles. Could you imagine the carebears sharing needles? Ha! What an episode that'd be.
A suitcase full of unmarked bills. (yea, not a who, but yea..)
Someone who can deal with me.
Someone who may help to motivate my procrastinatin' self?
That woman I've fuckin' dreamt of since I can ever remember dreaming. Pretty fuckin' frustrating. 'Specially if it is just symbolic interpretation or whatever that mumbo-jumbo is called. ^_^
Can't anybody see..? You've got to want to find it..
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