Dating Tips and Advice 37: The Best Way to a Better Love Life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Best Way to a Better Love Life. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is a way to a better love life which is often left out of most dating and relating advice. There is a way to lift ourselves up to a level where we become much more attractive to others. There is a way where we turn our lives around and create the exceptional relationship we are looking for - and its free!
The biggest blocks that most of us have to creating what we want in our lives is our personal history. The experiences we have had of rejection, lack of love, not being understood - and so on - can weigh us down. However we can become free of the effects of those experiences - if we learn wisdom from them, and - if deliberately forgive those experiences.
Negative past experiences become like a cloud around us which distort the things we believe are possible. Opportunities may be right in front of us, but we may not even see them. Alternatively we may see the opportunities, but our fears and worries may block us from taking action. Then we blame and berate ourselves for our inaction, or tell ourselves we did not really want him/her anyway.
The best way to a better love life - is through forgiveness. Forgiveness allows us to absorb anything useful from past experiences and discard the rest. However, there is a little bit of a trick to making it work. The trick is how to get ourselves to the point where we really want to forgive.
Many people try to get themselves to forgive because they believe it is something they 'should' do. They try to bully themselves into it because its a 'nice' thing to do even though they don't really want to. This does not work and just creates guilt as they get to feel bad for not being forgiving enough. The first thing is to forgive ourselves for not being as forgiving as we would like!
Others feel that forgiveness may mean condoning misbehavior. Of course, it does not mean that at all. When we forgive we simply stop torturing ourselves with painful memories, or with negative thoughts about other people. We still keep our clarity about what is right and what is wrong. Have you ever met anyone who has a problem which was caused by them being too forgiving!
We are much more likely to become more forgiving when we can really see what is in it for us. It will help us feel motivated if we are convinced there is a pay off right now, not just some kind of vague promise of possible benefits in the future.
There are many benefits we can get from being forgiving:
We become more loving - as we have less blocks to feeling love. We can let go of unhappy emotions, like judgment, negativity and criticism. We become naturally happier. The lows do go so low and the highs get higher. We are more fun to be around. We enjoy other people more - and they notice it. We like ourselves better - as we learn to forgive ourselves. We create much better relationships as we give up petty acts of vengeance. We become less fearful and the future looks much more promising. We become less stressed and therefore have better health. We get a free face lift - as the improvement in our attitude shows through!
How to forgive? The first step is to build up the desire to forgive based on thinking about the benefits it brings - as outlined above. The next step is to find a technique, a method (or a prayer) which works for you and begin to apply it to the people and situations you need to forgive. Gradually you will find that your relationships will improve in various unexpected ways.
If you do this, and you have thing against the opposite sex (or your chosen partner type) you will find your mutterings about 'men' or 'women' will gradually fade. You will find that the people you attract will treat you better (or you will forgive them more readily, and therefore move on much more rapidly, if they don't). You will find that you like yourself and your life better.
Forgiveness is the Royal Road to a better love life. It will make your eyes sparkle, put a spring in your step and bring a 'something special' to your smile. It will also bring you greater confidence as you will know you have a way of handling life without things bringing you down.
For some resources to help you search Google or Amazon for 'forgiveness', or check out the Self Help in your local bookstore.
