Dating Tips and Advice 21: Mushy Men and Macho Women
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mushy Men and Macho Women ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
These are peculiar times for dating and relating. The typical roles that men and women adopt are still changing and this adds to the confusion.
One the one hand nobody likes to be pushed into a role that is defined by others. Yet, on the other hand having some kind of role (or roles) offered to us by the society around us helps us define and express ourselves. It is all down to whether the role is forced on us or whether it feels natural to us.
Most of us tend to swing a bit from one role to the other as we try out different attitudes and sets of behavior. There might also be a set of clothes we wear that go with the attitude or lifestyle we want to adopt.
Some go too far in these roles. Some men become so 'sensitive' that they end up as Mushy Men who are too nice and always eager to please everyone. Some women become Macho Women (pick your own terms if you don't like these ones) who think that being able to copy the more stupid and immature forms of male behavior proves they are liberated.
We probably all know people who have gone a bit too far in changing roles and we hopefully manage to avoid these extremes ourselves. One of the things that can cause us to lose our way is if we don't make allowances for our own instinctive selves.
Of course, it is right for people to move away from roles and attitudes that they feel oppress them. More power to you, if that is what you need to do. However, as we explore different attitudes and ways of living lets not make things too hard for ourselves.
Some of what goes on between men and woman is instinctive and so wide spread that we hardly notice it. Let me give a simple example. How often do you see a man and a woman in a couple where the woman is taller than the man? Yes, it happens. But, it is fairly rare.
Now being a big hunk of 5 foot 4 inches (164cm) I would hardly have cause to notice or complain about this ;). However, I like to mention it as an example of instinct overriding common sense.
Is it that many empowered women, who would be appalled at the idea that they 'like to have a man to look up to', would also never date a man shorter than them? Or, is it that men are threatened by a woman who is taller than them? The answer probably depends on the individual.
Some of the of roles and types of behavior that we have adopted without much deliberate choice are not necessarily society doing something to us. It may be instincts that nature has put inside us to protect us - after all height has advantages in some survival situations :(.
Even if we want to change some of our instinctive behavior it is best to do so with a willingness to respect and honor the instinctive part of us. After all it enabled our species to survive to the point where we are today.
If we explore our changing roles with a respectful attitude for what has gone before we are more likely to do so in a healthy way. This allows men to explore the other sides of their nature without becoming Mushy Men and women to explore other sides of their nature without becoming Macho Women.
