If you find yourself getting into a slump, here are some useful ways to shift your mood up a gear so that you are in a better state of mind to be successful in relationships. After all, a lot of what goes on outside is just a mirror of what is going on inside us.
+ Sighing Sighing is a great mood shifter. I have cured serious headaches by just sitting and sighing for 20 minutes. It is one of the most natural ways to release stress, and a whole variety of emotions. Yet, mostly we repress sighing as people around us react if we do it in an obvious way. This is a shame as sighing is like the pressure release on a steam boiler and it is a great way to unwind
To sigh; just take a deep breath, hold it for a second or two and then gently let go and breath out. It is the 'letting go' that really helps. If it makes you want to yawn, laugh or cry do that too if the situation fits. Try it a few times at first and keep going if it feels right. All going well, after a few minutes, you will feel like you have given your insides a refreshing shower.
If there are other people nearby, and you want to be discreet, try breathing out through your nose with a little bit more of a 'letting go' than your normal breath. If you have privacy then you can really go for it and open your mouth and say 'Aaaah' as you sigh.
I sometimes wonder if one of the attractions of smoking cigarettes is that people get to sigh as they exhale. Putting the addiction to nicotine issue aside for a moment, maybe that is part of what makes smokers feel better?
Sighing as a mood shifter sounds very simple, but it works. We want to do what works.
+ Gratitude A friend of mine told me how this one got him out of a dead end job and into a really good one owing to the positive attitude it created in him. He then kept on using it and it helped him shift his attitude to women so that he found his ideal partner too.
The idea is to think of 50 thinks you feel grateful for and to do that every day for a month. That's really all there is to it. Except that the 'things' need to be positive and about 'what is' not about 'what is not'. (ie 'I am glad that the weather is dry' rather than 'I am glad it is not raining'). The 50 things can be as basic as having a warm place to live, food to eat, and so on.
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For another angle on Gratitude and a few other mood shifters, here is a copy of a very interesting email from one of the membership.
"tending the things I love can make me happy, or shift my mood. When in a dark funk, it is an easy transition to go from seething over ONE issue or event, into globalizing everything that has happened in recent (or long-term) memory. This isn't just ONE bad event, why it's but a mere representation of a LIFE-TIME of such lousy events! I.e., everything sucks!!
One year I made a list of all the things I was thankful for, both small and large. It surprised me just how many there really were when I put my mind to it. Keeping such a list handy for those dark moods is quite useful. You've suggested writing down thoughts when in the moment. Having a list ALREADY prepared (whether it is a "thankful" list or something more akin to what you've described) during happier times is also advised. It can jog my memory and even stir me to action if need be. (Oh yes, now I remember; some things in life are actually good and pleasant!!)
It seems simplistic and almost Pavlovian (and I hate to think I'm such a simple and open-to-suggestion creature), but doing one small thing can truly begin a mood shift. For me, it could be listening to a piece of music, or taking a walk, or reading an author I love. I must remind myself that I am NOT whatever recent event or mood I've been through. The quote I often say to myself, (not sure who said it) is: "There is no guarantee but change" or "This too will pass."
Another seemingly simplistic act is just going out and doing something decent for somebody else. It takes your mind off your own petty troubles AND can make you feel better both about yourself because you've helped someone else to feel better, maybe just brightened their day a tad. Probably at its core, it's about feeling that you have the ability to affect change; that you are not powerless. Because when things are dark, that is exactly how you feel -- powerless, unable to affect change. It doesn't hurt to be reminded that we ARE (or can be) powerful beings and capable of substantially affecting others (and ourselves), more so than we typically know."
